Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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