we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
