All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
