Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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