I just made out with a guy for $7.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize