a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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