I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
