Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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