Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Randomize
