I cut my penus on the lid.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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