You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
