based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
