At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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