yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
