how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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