i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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