is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
