this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
