i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
