Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
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Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
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Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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