Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
