so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
