direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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