I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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