Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
