dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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