There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
