so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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