thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
