my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
