actually, I'm a sock model
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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