I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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