I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
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