Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
