My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
