don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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