so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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