just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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