is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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