lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
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You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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