I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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