I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
