I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
