Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
