what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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