Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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