I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
