batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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