So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
