He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
