Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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