im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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