They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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