you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
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so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
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Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.