so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
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Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
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Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked