Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask