we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
