it's too hot outside to masturbate.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
