you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize