On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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