we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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