My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
