drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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