the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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