You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
