You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
