I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
