just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize